Well, I was right. He came back the very next day. He did apologize, we talked more about what is going on with him and he's texted since to invite me out. Am I still wrong that these are wildly mixed messages? I mean, I get that he needs a counsellor more than a hookup, but I'm not sure he gets that. And is it weird that I'm still a bit perturbed about it, yet flattered that he still wants to talk to me? Well, probably, but that's life. If we were all simple, what would we write about? ;)
More to the recent point; I have been having dreams about my exes lately. It has sort of (and by "sort of", I mean it has) caused me to text them in the last week. So, now I have tentative plans for Saturday with Labradorite. I mean, I have the plans, but it's up in the air whether he'll show up or not, even though he suggested doing something, not me, and picked the day. I remember one day, when we were actually dating, that he phoned to tell me that he'd come pick me up in two hours and just never showed up. I am one of those girls that only takes around fifteen to twenty minutes to get ready for an evening (which is twice my normal morning routine!) and I actually tried to get all done up. Nothing is quite so humiliating as getting all dolled up and stood up. It, tragically, is quite the pattern with him. But, I have plans with him regardless. However, Smoky Quartz asked me today what I was doing on Saturday and I told him I might have plans. So, perhaps this "ex-parade" will get started no matter what. I guess a part of me sort of reads into the dreams as meaning something, but I can't think of what. Besides, the content of the dreams themselves are probably indicative of something as well. In the one with Labradorite, we were just hanging out, puffing on one of those e-cigarette things and chatting. Very casual and grape flavoured. In the one with Smoky Quartz, we were trying to make plans to hang out in a large group. We were together, that much I recall, as he had this girl hanging all over him and when I tried to talk to him about it, he told me that it was fine and that I shouldn't worry about it at all.... much like real life when he disregarded my concerns. Now, if I was so inclined to read into these things, which I clearly feel like doing today, should I take the Smoky Quartz one to mean that I can't trust him or is it just a recollection of how I felt when we did date? And what does that mean for the one with Labradorite? It was comfortable and fun. I'm not sure if I should hope that he doesn't show up or that he does. If he does, we'll see where the day takes this. If he doesn't, I'll see where the day goes with Smoky Quartz. Ugh, this is the most stressful coin flip-like situation I've been in lately. And don't even get me started on Star Sapphire... I haven't been able to wrap my head around that situation yet either. I think I'm just worrying about the lack of butterflies that I feel over it. But, I can't tell if that is because I just stopped that long ago, when we first started hanging out, or if it's genuine "blah". All I do know is that I am more concerned with Saturday at the moment, and partially because I hope it might help clarify things for me. Ha ha, that's probably a pipe dream in itself though! My luck, it will only serve to further complicate. Oh well, sometimes you have to cross the line to know it's there.
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